(Verse 1)
The gov has spoken, the verdict is clear,
No more waddling ‘round down here.
Too short, too cold, too black and white,
And frankly, they can’t even take flight.

(Chorus)
Who needs penguins anyway?
Just useless birds in tuxedoes all day.
They can’t file taxes, they can’t make laws,
And they sh*t everywhere—what a lost cause!

(Verse 2)
They huddle for warmth, but what’s the use?
A species so stubborn, they just reproduce.
No innovation, no grand design,
Just sliding on ice—what a waste of time.

They sleep for months, the lazy freaks,
Contributing nothing for weeks and weeks!
No rent to pay, no nine-to-five,
Just stuffing their faces to stay alive!

(Chorus reprise)
Who needs penguins anyway?
Just freeloading blobs in the ice all day!
No GDP, no corporate plan,
Just fish and naps—what a scam!

(Outro – A Penguin’s Retort)

But as the last shot echoed wide,
A penguin smirked and stepped aside.
“We may not fly, we may not build…
But at least our soul ain’t been killed!”

🐧

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Brought to you by my utter ‘uselessness’ and ‘systemically unproductive’ self