Growing up without a father and under the oppressive shadow of an abusive mother in a low-capital, post-communist environment shaped my life in ways I’m still unpacking. I had no financial or emotional support, no safety net, no one to turn to. Everything I’ve built, I’ve built myself—brick by brick, tear by tear. Despite the odds, I survived. I made it. But survival is only the beginning.

Exploitation and Leaving Toxic Spaces

Because of my rough start in life, people often saw me as someone to exploit. They dismissed me for not attending a prestigious school or pursuing a highly respected career path or from coming from a poor background. My worth was measured against narrow, elitist standards. I avoided the fields filled with toxic narcissism and emotional voids, but even in other areas, I encountered the same dismissive attitudes. Finally, I made it, somewhat and my life stabilized in my early thirties, just for COVID to hit. When I became ill with long COVID, the gaslighting began again—another chapter in the book of feeling unseen and unheard.

Then came my years online, pouring my heart into helping others and contributing in the ways I could. Yet, even in spaces meant to uplift humanity, I found the same toxic elitism. People who claimed to lead the charge for a better world dismissed me, calling me “useless” and “retarded.” My efforts, my time, my energy—it all felt unacknowledged, unappreciated. Instead of fostering unity, they perpetuated a cold and narrow vision of what “help” should look like.

I’m done with that. I’ve decided to take my energy elsewhere.

The Problem with Toxic “Leaders”

There’s a pattern here, one I’ve seen repeated in toxic people and groups: the belief that their vision is the only vision. They tie worth to productivity, to obedience, to their own needs and narratives. And if you don’t fit their mold, they’ll gaslight and belittle you to maintain control.

What angers me the most is their justification of harm. Letting bad things happen to “wake people up” isn’t just abusive—it’s criminal. These individuals don’t just lack compassion; they manipulate suffering to serve their agendas. And I’ve decided I will no longer be a part of it.

Reclaiming Myself

Walking away from toxic environments isn’t giving up—it’s choosing to honor myself. I’m finally saying, “I matter, too.” The battles I’ve fought, the survival I’ve achieved, the contributions I’ve made—they are not for others to measure or dismiss. They are mine.

I will no longer waste my energy trying to please those who will never see me. Instead, I’ll channel that energy into spaces that uplift me, into people who appreciate me, and into causes that align with my values.

Moving Forward with Purpose

It’s easy to feel disillusioned, to let bitterness take root. But I refuse. Instead, I’ll focus on what I’ve learned:

I deserve respect. No one has the right to belittle me, no matter their rank, achievements, or self-importance.

Boundaries are love. Walking away from toxic people isn’t just about protecting myself—it’s about loving myself.

There is always hope. Even in the darkest places, I’ve found glimmers of kindness, healing, and strength.

The world needs more compassion, not control. It needs more humility, not hierarchies. And most of all, it needs people who are brave enough to stand up for their worth, even when others try to tear them down.

To anyone else who feels unseen or undervalued: honor yourself. You deserve to exist in spaces that celebrate you, not diminish you. And if those spaces don’t exist yet, create them. You are not alone.

Sofie